Happy New Year

Dear Nii Kpakpo,

I told you I would write to you before the year ends and this is the last day of the year. If I don’t write right now and today, I would have failed and not kept my word.

But me kraa, it’s been a long week since I wrote you my last letter. Eish! This my laziness will be the end of me oh.

The holiday season has been a very quiet one. I have been indoors with your sister the whole time. And get your mind out of the gutter. There hasn’t been much going on just that I know that we needed this time together so we could bond more. And if anything was happening kraa, are we not married. It is ordained by God and if I don’t do it, somebody else will do it for me abi.

This Christmas didn’t fall well at all in terms of the two days break and then folk having to go back to work one more day before the weekend. Kpakpo, as for us here, we do love our holidays and so the weekend started on the Christmas Day. Who’s going to work on a Friday when we are supposed to be at the mosque to be praying to usher in the new year. You get my drift?

Unlike in the capital city where there are parties all over the place, the parties here aren’t that much profound and probably more exclusive. I have been following the news feed on my timeline on social media and it looks like Bearded Man city is booming with activity. After all it’s Christmas and there are parties everywhere.

Kpakpo I think people are losing focus on the real significance of the occasion and seeing it as a time to party and make ‘Mary’ so a friend jokingly said to me that ‘Mary Joseph is in town so we go chill’ whatever that meant.

Chale! If you people are changing the Christmas greeting in Ghana don’t keep it in your city. Please let us know oh. Don’t keep the syllabus to yourself. We are far away in the savannah.

As the year winds down I see people having awards lists on their social media pages and some nominations from my neck of desert (our woods are few) such as our resident overnight celebrity Hamdya Issa who I’ve tried to trace but haven’t found maybe because we don’t move in the same circles. I hear she is a backup dancer and as such can be found at the music shows or in the nightclubs.

Well, I have seen some pretty interesting awards and I’m still awed by the creativity of our Ghanaian people.

Nii Kpakpo, as the year winds down I have noticed the various advertised programs of the various churches both orthodox and charismatic. Some have been pretty hilarious and it’s a good thing I told myself I wasn’t going to send you any pictures in my letters and I will only paint pictures with words.

My God! What is the world coming to? With large banners of European style suited men of God advertising for spiritual breakthroughs and to cure any disease and affliction under the sun, you would think they were advertising for a medical retreat or a major pharmaceutical conference. One billboard even advertised for better orgasms and I was quite amazed at the number of sponsors and supporters for the program. Don’t we have issues to solve as a people than to worry about who gets an orgasm or not?

Some people are just not primed to have an orgasm in their life ever. They are too uptight and to get an orgasm you have to keep an open mind and invariably open legs too.

Matter oh!

Nii Kpakpo Thompson, the other thing is that today being the last day of the year most Christians are going to be in church at the moment the year changes from 2013 to 2014. Some churches have themed their services for this moment and there are various names: Rollover, Crossover, Passover, Changeover, Etc.

There are some people who will be in bars when the clock strikes midnight and those are the folk who will have a hangover in the morning.

Those who will sleep whilst the year changes will pull up the covers and will be experiencing the Pullover.

For me all I know is that by 3am on January 1 it is All Over.

Kpakpo, as I send you this now, you know I will be thinking that yes I met by deadline of sending you a letter before the new year and as such I kept my word.

I will quickly end this letter whilst i prepare for my own cross over. Your sister has already gone ahead and as for me, I sure am taking my time.

We thank God for another new year and may He grant us good tidings in the coming year.

Say Amen!

The next time I write to you will be next year.
Happy new year Nii Kpakpo Thompson!

Your Cousin in Law
Savannah Boy


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