Elephant in the Savannah

Dear Nii Kpakpo,

It’s almost 3am as I write this letter and I’m standing outside in the cool predawn breeze and the half moon shining in the sky and serenaded by Atlantis Radio.

This is bliss you might think. But the reason why I’m outside is because I have no lights at home. The phase went off again and this time the young man who fixes it changed his line onto the other phase so now it’s inevitable that every time it happens we will sleep in the dark till those workmen in their air-conditioned car from the electricity company find it fit to come fix it.

But Kpakpo I found some shop front with a socket barely 50m from my house so I’ve brought out the tablet and plugged in sharing the night with the coughing goats (did you know savanna goats cough like humans?) and the mosquitoes.

But that’s the least of my worries. I actually have none. It’s just my friends on social media making me laugh so hard I forget the time of night. Those Trotro Diaries stories are so hilarious and the first quarter wit award winners are champions in their own right.

My dysfunctional brain however keeps swaying to the big event this weekend. The Elephant is coming to town with its rambling and heavy patter. It has been estimated that over ten thousand people will be flushed into this savanna for the Elephant congregation.

Just thinking of the ramifications in terms of filth alone giving me a headache. Then comes the business aspects especially people who are gonna buy souvenirs like smocks and sandals among other stuff. 

There is this funny rumour that even toffee sellers at the congregation grounds should have party cards because only party faithful should enjoy and benefit from a party function. Don’t know how true this is but the irony is that you want only party faithful to benefit yet you’re coming to make promises to all Ghanaians to trust you with a mandate of national interest.

Kpakpo, reminds me of a poster I came across earlier in the week about how you walk into a banking hall and there are ropes attached to their pens. The banks can’t trust us with their pens yet they want us to trust them with our money. Poster was truly so funny I posted on my Facebook wall. 

Nii Kpakpo, seriously I think it’s high time we reevaluated these politicians and we realized that we give them the power they have. We elect them into public office and then the develop eagle’s wings. The people have to back up and rethink our role in making this demigods.

Well, I’m not sleepy but I gotta get inside because it looks like it’s about to rain. 

Your sister said she misses the traffic in Accra and her parents so she’s off to visit and will be until Easter.  I gotta endure these cold nights alone. But who misses traffic in Accra? Only in your family will anyone hear such a thing. But I don’t blame her. She’s always had the Accra life in her and I think I told you she even still has the Accra work ethic of going to work latest by 7am and closing past 5pm.  Not me.  No siree!

Interestingly I don’t miss the Bearded Man City but I miss its people. But gradually the savanna has all the perks of living down south and with more people moving up here very soon I won’t even miss the people no more.

Did I tell you your bald headed big tummy cousin and former roommate of mine was in town for a music concert. He’s done so well for himself both as a professional and in entertainment. Heard him handling the Joy Morning Show during the week and his “Toonoo of The Week” show on weekends has carved I nook for itself and become so popular cos he’s a “toonoo” himself when he wants to be.

Oh Yeah! And the savanna rain made it a wet party so that they had to continue the next day. So the music concert for awards nominees was a gift of two days in a row and fans went livid I hear.

Nii Kpakpo Thompson,  life in the savanna is as it is. This Elephant Congress should be fun from the observers post I’d be perched on. Those detractors in the south hoping for a riot and being overly concerned should relax.  They’d be disappointed that the elephant will come and go back into the bush without any damage. We’re all keeping our fingers crossed.

Well, it’s back into the house and an empty bed for me. 

Will write you another letter soon.  We have to talk about the death of the Christ and how we will celebrate his defeat of death _ no Grim Reaper things.

Nii Kpakpo be safe.

Till next time.

It’s still me,

Your Cousin in law
Savannah Boy


3 thoughts on “Elephant in the Savannah

  1. …..at least i know for sure that I’ll get a neutral reportage of the Elephant Congress from Kola,so sick and tired of biased reports from our “professional” media.

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