Taliban Panic

Dear Nii Kpakpo,

Happy New Year any3mi and I pray you and your family are doing OK.  The Yuletide was indeed festive especially since 2015  was declared the year of the dead goat. Boss, you name it and goat was there to represent. There was so much goat even your aunt my mother had to bake cookies with goat or rather some goats came to chew the cookies she was baking whilst she turned her back to do something.

Goat light soup, goat jollof, goat kebabs, even goat milk and I’m sure Master Kofi cowgirl Republic Bar had a version of Goat Kokroko. The only key ingredient missing this time didn’t belong to my short lookalike Sakodie but the “Furuma” King Ayisoba singing his latest hit single that gets the British conservative audience bleating “m3h! M3h! M3h!” in chorus.

That dude has done what plenty of our African imperialists couldn’t do but that discussion is for another day.

Indeed the year of the goat ended with a goatee Yuletide.

Nii Kpakpo as has usually been the case every time I visit the Bearded Man City (I see you have a beard now too just like your mayor uncle) I’m amazed at the concrete development to the neglect of the social well-being of the people. My late night walks indicate that more and more people are flocking into the city and living in Accra has even more than before become “hard face and bottom tight” (in Ga) than before even to the extent that some sojourners couldn’t go home to wherever they have come from because to go during Christmas means to lose some market niche or even common floor space they have managed to acquire in some slum in Accra. It is during this time that they are busy doing “acquisitions” they said.

Kpakpo I noticed the gap between the haves and the have nots has also gotten wider and this was evident from the last party that I attended hosted by our brother the most eligible Men’s Only bachelor in town where when the party was about ending some neighbors, some with babies on their backs just walked in confidently and took away some food and drinks the guests had barely touched. At least it didn’t go to waste. It would have been such a shame.

Accra people work hard and party harder, spending their hard earned money the way they see fit and who wouldn’t with what you guys have to go through on a daily basis. As has become the mantra “Accra stay by plan” and it’s not surprising considering the daily hustle of city life  – lights off, taps don’t flow, fast paced business deals, traffic et al. No wonder city dwellers especially in the  capital are so testy and very impatient. You’re walking through town and you step on somebody’s toes your apology has to be quicker than a snake sticks out it’s tongue or BAM! Next is a slap and an angry retort which quickly results in at least a quick exchange of words.

Nii Kpakpo Thompson, being the seat of government it is expected that there’d be more action and with the current economic hardship our government keeps surprising us with info. Just when petrol prices come down on the world market, our fuel prices went up and of all the places for taxi drivers to strike it was here in the savanna. The furore of taxing one percent of investment had barely died when we heard that our Odikro and his buxom fair lady foreign representative have agreed to host 2 ex terrorists.

Eish! Any3mi! Where did we go wrong? What have our leaders been swallowing that makes them shit differently or is it that they have reversed their anatomy and their “waists” are now upward?

Oh wow! And why is it that they weren’t resettled on mainland if the prison is going to be decommissioned. The name Gitzmo itself sounds like gizmo which by definition is a small gadget (for which we don’t know what it does) and wrings fear in many dissidents. But like our elders say fools only tread where angels fear to tread, our leaders are the bureaucratic angels to tho rescue of capitalist Uncle Sam.

Inasmuch as we’ve been told they don’t pose a security threat who is to say what attention and influence with regards to terror organizations will bring to Ghana where our youth are “sleeping in coffins and licking menstrual blood just to get rich. Why wont they jump at a chance to kill and maim people together rich..”   –  Abena Magis

Plenty questions less answers so let’s leave it like that. As for me by the time they arrive I’d have left the capital back to my savanna and be praying that their resettlement location is nowhere near any mile radius of where I’m staying.

Sometimes I thank God that the international airport up here is still in the pipeline so I’m sure they’ll safely land at Kotoka first before the fair lady decides in consultation with the higher powers where they will be secreted off to in this our pregnant nation.

Oh Kpakpo! Talking of international airports can you imagine what the parking lot at the airport at Ho will look like for Park N Fly? There’d be a lot of brooms I tell you.

Sweeping the airport shouldnt be a problem. 

Nii Kpakpo I’m back in the savanna with your sister and truth be told the dust has indeed settled. Left the house for only three weeks and when we got off the bus the first street seller we saw, dude was selling surgical face masks,  gave an indication that harmatan was still lurking but it wasn’t  until we opened our door and the tiled floor wasn’t visible that we realized there was work to be done restoring the house into habitable status. And work we did. It was fun doing it together too.

Afterwards the shower..

Chale! It’s been a long day. Lemme let you go and do some other stuff too. Trust me to keep you posted on events here especially in this election (pronounce like our golden people) year.

I still remain
Your Cousin in Law
Savanna Boy

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